Deep Down, John Kerry Is Still a Frat Boy

Okay, so Skull & Bones isn't exactly a fraternity, but this is first time I've ever seen Animal House referenced in a column written by a serious politician:

Last week, when American taxpayers learned that a bank receiving Troubled Asset Relief Program funds had thrown a lavish bash and spared no expense to celebrate with the bands Chicago and Earth, Wind & Fire, I introduced legislation based on a simple concept: if a company accepts bailout funds from the taxpayer, it can’t waste money on lavish parties, expensive dinners and Tiffany trinkets.

The reaction in some quarters suggests that I had attempted -- like a modern-day Dean Wormer in “Animal House” -- to ban fun of any kind, or that the wheels of commerce and marketing would grind to a halt.

Kerry goes on to assure us that he is no Dean Wormer, and that is is only trying to curtail wasteful spending of taxpayer money. Kerry is adamant that no partying will be had:

Not Party Time

Clearly, this is no time to party. Economic indicators are deeply troubling. Household debt-to-income levels are at historic highs, and estimates show that homes continue to be overvalued by as much as 30 percent.

Maybe Kerry is not so much Dean Wormer but Robert Hoover, president of Delta House, who unsuccessfully tries to maintain order and keep his brothers out of trouble. Because as long as our government is adamant about funneling hundreds of billions of dollars into corporations to keep them afloat, those companies have no reason to stop partying.