Beware "Big Bicycle" and "Bicycle Buffoonery"

I'm on my way out the door, but I just had to pull a few lines from today's column by "D. Dowd Muska." Honestly, sometimes I wonder where the Waterbury Republican-American finds its columnists. In Muska's case, maybe he draws inspiration from "searching the woods of Connecticut for the mountain lions wildlife bureaucrats say aren’t there." Right then.

Muska's anti-bicycle column moves from one ridiculous assertion to another:

Most of the greener-than-thou pedal pushers and Lance Armstrong wannabes on Connecticut’s roads can’t be bothered to obey stop signs, keep to the right, or ride single file. It might be because they’re too busy daydreaming of how to force you to pay for their hobby.

Right, because obviously the goal of bicyclists is to push cars off the road. This column is probably the first time I've ever seen someone make an economic argument against bike riding.

Predictably, this legislative session, bicycle buffoonery is at work in Hartford. S.B. No. 735 would create the “Connecticut Bicycle and Pedestrian Advisory Board,” require both the state and municipalities to spend 1 percent of highway funds on “all users” (translation: bicyclists), and establish “Share the Road” license plates, the proceeds of which are to be used to “enhance public awareness of the rights and responsibilities of both motorists and bicyclists while jointly using the highways of this state.”

I just don't understand what's wrong with any of these things, except maybe some issues with interpreting "all users." Why shouldn't we encourage bike riding?

It’s time for an annual bicycle registration fee. (How’s $300 sound?)

Is this a joke? I'm sure families with two children would love to spend an extra $600 every year paying for their kids' right to ride their bikes around the neighborhood.

Non-cyclists worried about energy use and air pollution shouldn’t be fooled by Big Bicycle’s propaganda.

I just thought "Big Bicycle" was hilarious. Also beware their evil sister lobbies, Big Tricycle and Big Unicycle.

The only other reference I can find to "Big Bicycle" is in a comment to a blog post by Matthew Yglesias. Either Muska borrowed the phrase from this commenter, or maybe there are two people in the U.S. silly enough to believe this.